I don’t know about everyone else, but it has come to my attention that my scale . . . the one I hide behind the bathroom door is officially a LIAR (and evil)! Maybe that’s it. It’s upset with me because I keep it hidden and out of sight and it’s getting revenge. There is no other reason why it would want to lie to me like this when I step on! Oh and it is such a BIG lie too! All women know exactly what I am talking about because I know your scale has probably lied to you at least once if not twice. It’s Monday morning, you are about to get in the shower (so you have nothing that could cause unnecessary weight), you step on the scale and BAM it spits out a complete untruth. A boldface lie! You are wondering why it would deceive you this way. Right? Everyone knows the best time to weigh yourself is first thing in the morning when your stomach is empty. So you’re not sure what went wrong. You did everything right and you get this lie. It is definitely angry with you about something!
Well, I am going to do something about mine. I will not stand for this treatment anymore and I am going to make the scale my friend again. First, for the next month it is going in the closet. We need some time apart for a while. There will be no more play time with me getting off and on at least 5 times, shifting feet, or alternating foot positions. I’m done with that!
Next, I am going to show that scale. I’m cutting out all of those holiday sweets that I have been consuming since Thanksgiving. Ha, take that scale! You’re gonna want to be my friend. Only apples and grapefruits for me. Yeah!
Did you say wine, margaritas? You got it, cutting back on that too and juice (especially Mango Lemonade and Trader Joe’s Pink Lemonade Italian Soda). That scale doesn’t know who it’s messing with. 100% pure aqua, H20, good ol’ fashion faucet fluid. Okay well maybe filtered.
Oh I am not done yet. No more french fries (for now)! Yep, I am getting out the big guns to take down the scale and it will begging for us to be friends again. I will not succumb to the fries calling my name or the delicious smell wafting from the door as I walk pass Five Guys.
Croissants for breakfast? No way! Who cares if they are buttery, flaky, come with different fillings and melt in your mouth. (Oh my!) They are out too and nothing but multigrain toast will do. Next thing I know, that scale will be rushing to be underfoot.
Finally, and this is huge. This will surely get me back into the good graces of the scale. I am going to start running, spinning and yoga-ing again!! Apparently, you lose tons of calories and fat from exercising! Who knew? If that doesn’t win it over, then nothing will.
I sure hope this works because I would hate to have to throw that scale out of the window and watch it splatter into tiny pieces. So, if you are fighting with your scale, maybe you too should try getting back into its good graces. But remember, everything in moderation.